STE: FHM
by ZenosParadox
Summary: RS friendship. Reed discovers an interesting picture of Sato.


Title: FHM  
  
Author: ZenosParadox  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: RS friendship. Malcolm discovers an interesting picture of Hoshi.   
  
No spoilers; just some names of MACOs. Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.  
  
FHM  
  
"I'm positive it's her. See? How many Hoshi Satos can there be?"  
  
"How many HOT Hoshi Satos can there be, you mean."  
  
"You know, in that white bikini, I could easily imagine her sitting on the bed just waiting for me, especially with that smile on her face."  
  
"Hey, get in line. I saw her first; she's mine!"  
  
"Gentlemen, what do you have there?" The clipped tones made it easy to recognize the officer.  
  
"Uh, nothing, sir, it's just--"  
  
The MACOs watched as Lieutenant Reed changed colors before them. First he was a paler shade than normal, then the crimson began as the flush crept up his neck. The rainbow finally ended with the Lieutenant looking a bit green around the gills, as they say. What worried the men was Reed's utter quiet. And he wasn't moving, just staring at the screen of the console where they had converged.  
  
"Turn it off." Reed finally spoke and his voice was a deadly quiet. Ramirez quickly ensured that the screen went blank.   
  
"Sir, we didn't mean--"  
  
"Find another object of adoration for your adolescent preening, gentlemen." Reed's voice was a cold rage.  
  
"It's just a calendar photo, sir. It's public domain."  
  
"The picture might be, but I bet the woman isn't. Is that right, Lieutenant?" asked Chang as he noted Reed's tense posture. "We were just looking for a distraction when I remembered the picture. It's been nagging me since I met her."  
  
"Dismissed."  
  
"Sorry, Lieutenant."   
  
"Hey, why did you apologize? We weren't doing anything--"   
  
"You idiot, don't you recognize jealousy when you see it? This is their third year of working together. You are so clueless..."  
  
The voices of the MACOs faded as they moved down the corridor. Reed stood in front of the console for a moment before making his decision. He turned the unit back on and quickly found the confirmation of their claims.  
  
-----  
  
"What should we do this year? I think he's getting tired of pineapple cream cake," said Hoshi to Travis. Malcolm's birthday was tomorrow and the two had decided their journey into the Expanse would not deter the observance of Malcolm's birthday.   
  
"He'd probably like it if we ejected the MACOs out the nearest airlock," said Travis.  
  
"Some of them are nice," said Hoshi with a smile.  
  
"Now isn't that just like a woman. You're happy to have some new guys to fall at your feet when they see you," said Travis dramatically.   
  
Hoshi smiled in response. "Well, Travis, sometimes it is nice to be appreciated for being a woman and not just a fellow officer."  
  
She fell silent when she noticed Malcolm standing behind her and a funny look on Travis' face. She turned to see their Armory Officer frowning, but refusing to look at her. "Malcolm, you're late."  
  
"Something came up." Malcolm sat down, but still failed to make eye contact with the Ensign. Travis shot a questioning look to Hoshi, but she just shook her head.  
  
"You've got to help us out, Malcolm. What do you want for your birthday?" asked Travis. He moved before Hoshi's elbow could connect.  
  
"Travis! He's not supposed to tell us," insisted Hoshi.  
  
"I don't want anything," said Malcolm quietly. "You know, I just remembered something. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
-----  
  
"Lieutenant?" Hoshi called to Malcolm as he was leaving the gym.   
  
He kept walking, but decided a polite acknowledgement of her existence was warranted. "Ensign."  
  
"What did I do?" asked Hoshi as she increased her gait to remain by his side.  
  
"Nothing, Ensign, why do you ask?"  
  
They came to a corner where Hoshi conveniently put her foot out to trip her superior officer. Malcolm caught himself on his hands and was kneeling on all fours on the floor when he registered that Hoshi was in the same position with her face inches from his.  
  
"Don't lie to me, Malcolm. You weren't looking at me when you met us for dinner. What did I do to you?" asked Hoshi. She sat back on her haunches and leaned her arms on her knees.   
  
Malcolm was dumbstruck as his mind adjusted the pose to the one portrayed in the calendar shot. Then she smiled at him to encourage him to confide in her, but instead Malcolm closed his eyes and retreated before standing up abruptly and walking away.  
  
-----   
  
"Ensign Sato, could I have a minute of your time?" asked Chang when he spotted her walking slowly to her quarters.   
  
Hoshi turned with a hesitant smile on her face. Chang was one of the MACOs she liked given his relaxed manner, but right now she had to discover what came over Malcolm.  
  
"Corporal Chang, what can I do for you? You don't need more help writing a letter in French to your girlfriend in Paris, do you?"  
  
"No, I'm still waiting for a reply."  
  
"Is it the girlfriend in Spain? Germany? Or the Russian, then?" added Hoshi. The man certainly juggled a lot of relationships. He obviously adored women, another part of his charm.  
  
"I just wanted to see if everything was okay between you and Lieutenant Reed."  
  
Hoshi hesitated and thought carefully about how to phrase things. Chang knew why Malcolm had a burr up his butt, and she needed to find out. "Well, actually, it isn't."  
  
"Look, I'm really sorry I looked for the Hot Geniuses calendar. A friend of mine had posed for it seven years ago and--"  
  
"The calendar? Oh! Oh?" Hoshi was trying to connect the dots. Why would her picture in a bikini bother Malcolm--unless? "I see."  
  
"I showed it to two of my buddies and, well, what can I say? We all thought you looked hot, and then the Lieutenant walked in on us, so." Chang ended with a shrug. He didn't want to get the Ensign in trouble for fraternizing with a superior officer. It really wasn't his business.  
  
"Thanks for telling me," said Hoshi as she turned away. But she stopped a moment and turned to ask, "So you really thought I was hot?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. Lieutenant Reed had every right to be jealous, but don't worry. We won't say anything to anyone else."  
  
"Thank you, Corporal."  
  
-----  
  
I live for cold showers, thought Malcolm. Cold showers brought on by images of Hoshi Sato. Sharing decon after the Klingon ship had produced a week of cold showers. Having Hoshi appear topless before him had extended to a month of cold showers.   
  
But now he, Malcolm Reed, had access to a photo of their lovely linguist in the white bikini any time he wanted. Damn! He wanted to review that picture just one more time! Which only meant he was doomed to a life of nothing but cold showers! Even trying to call up images of T'Pol's bum clad in red velour couldn't compete with Bikini Hoshi. Now there was a nice bum!  
  
"I am doomed," moaned Malcolm as he heard the door chime. He sighed and assumed it was Travis probably wanting to know why he had acted so strangely. He shuffled to the door wondering how much he would confide in Travis only to find Hoshi at his doorstep. At least she had a shirt on.  
  
"Malcolm, I just had an interesting conversation with Corporal Chang."  
  
Hoshi watched Malcolm turn from white to red to green before coming back to settle on a light pink. He opened his mouth to try to say something, she could tell, but obviously the vocal cords weren't cooperating.  
  
"Why don't you get a glass of water and I'll just wait here until you're ready to talk," said Hoshi. She sat on the small sofa in his quarters and clasped her hands primly on her lap. She noticed he was looking at her, but seemed glued to the spot. She waved him to his sink with her hand and finally got a reaction.  
  
-----  
  
She's enjoying this, thought Malcolm as he reached for a glass. He drank the water down in one gulp. He turned to look at Hoshi, poured another glass and drank it down. What he wouldn't give for alcohol--or poison. Yes, a good fast-acting poison would be good. Malcolm took a deep breath and sat beside Hoshi.  
  
"Chang told you about the picture?"  
  
"Yes. Said you were upset by it, too," said Hoshi.   
  
"Seeing a Starfleet officer as the next MACO pin-up girl is not what I expected."  
  
"So, it's just that you think the honor of Starfleet has been offended by my posing for the picture? I wasn't even in Starfleet then."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It was seven years ago, Malcolm. I was twenty and tired of being called a prodigy. I wanted to prove to myself I could be seen as a desirable woman. So when the Hot Geniuses approached me about the calendar, I said yes."  
  
Hoshi noticed the Malcolm still didn't know what to say, so she continued. "It's not as if there was going to be a high demand for the calendar. But you know what? It worked; I never felt awkward or asexual after that. And I have nothing to be ashamed of, Malcolm Reed."  
  
"Hoshi, it's not that, it's just--the men were just gawking over you as if--"  
  
"I was a woman? Good, because you know what? I'm tired of being treated as if I'm nothing more than a uniform."  
  
"I've done my best not to objectify you the way I do other women," insisted Malcolm rose and began pacing the room as he spoke. He soon realized how his words merely confirmed Hoshi's statements. No wonder she was rolling her eyes at him. "Look, the MACOs were all drooling over you! But of course, that seems to be the reaction you want."  
  
"Is it the other men enjoying the picture or your own response that's bothering you, Malcolm? We've been in decon together! You never indicated it affected you."  
  
"You weren't wearing a skimpy WHITE bikini in decon, now were you? Or sitting back like that with your perfect bum barely covered by the fabric and that inviting smile on your face." Malcolm stopped pacing as he realized what he was saying.  
  
"You think I'm HOT!" said Hoshi as she pointed her finger in accusation at Malcolm.  
  
"I do not think you're hot!" He saw the immediate pout on her face and realized he'd done it again. "NO, I mean--look, the thoughts that picture evokes in me are entirely inappropriate, Ensign."  
  
"Just because you can see me as a woman doesn't mean you have to demean me, Malcolm. Or is there something you're trying to avoid?"  
  
"I'm trying to avoid--I'm trying to avoid," Malcolm began pacing the room again as the tirade spewed forth. "I'm trying to avoid thinking about you in decon. I'm trying to avoid thinking of you topless. I'm trying damn hard to avoid calling up that picture of you again! I have no right to think of you that way."  
  
"What ever gave you that idea?" asked Hoshi as she stood to confront Malcolm.  
  
"Because--"  
  
"Rank? Who gives a damn? We can fantasize about whom we please as long as we keep it private."  
  
"But--"  
  
"Are we friends, Malcolm?"  
  
"Of course we are, which is why I--"  
  
"Which is why I would trust you." Hoshi stood face to face with Malcolm. "You wouldn't hurt me, would you, Malcolm? You wouldn't impose yourself on me."  
  
"Of course not."  
  
"Then see me as a woman and keep me as a friend, Malcolm. Don't feel guilty about enjoying the picture." Hoshi stepped to his door and had one last word. "I don't see a uniform when I look at you, Malcolm. I see a very attractive man, moreso because he can be my friend."   
  
-----  
  
Malcolm Reed looked at the date. It was September 2, his birthday and it had been a day in hell. Little things had been going wrong all day long and he'd had little time to breathe. Perhaps it was a good thing because it meant his interactions with Hoshi were entirely professional. It was now the end of the day and he sighed in relief.   
  
He approached his door and noticed a thin package propped against it with the words Happy Birthday written neatly across it. His heart skipped a beat as he recognized the handwriting. Hoshi.  
  
Malcolm entered his quarters and unwrapped the gift. He stared at it with an open mouth, then he smiled just before the room rang with his laughter. Written across one corner were the words, "From Hoshi, For Her Malcolm. PS, Looking harms no one."  
  
Malcolm put the picture on the desk and leaned back to enjoy the view. "You, Hoshi Sato, are HOT!"   
  
*****  
  
Author Notes:  
  
Inspired by the Linda Park spread for FHM. The one picture the husband liked was of her in the white bikini. Written Aug 24, 2003, and posted at LD.  
  
No reviews are necessary. Thanks for reading. 


End file.
